You're paying $150K for work your intern could have done, presented by a wannabe Jony Ive spouting things like "purposeful texture?!!" Isn't texture always purposeful?

Our team can get you off the drawing board, into the lab to materialize your ideas so you can share them with Angels and VCs. From showpiece prototypes, through usability studies, design for manufacturing and assembly, and into mass production. We know where all the pitfalls are. We've actually fallen into them. We've developed mission-critical, life-saving products for the pickiest customers on the planet. We've manufactured literal millions of them.

Why haven't you heard of us? We don't kiss and tell. We don't want your competition to know you're working with us either.

When you're finally tired of being looked down upon through some dude's funny looking glasses, we'll be here.

We're Smarmy.